Monday, 17 January 2022

What It Means to Be a Father Today


The 'good father', an image widely spread by consumer societies, is that of a 'provider': the one who satisfies all the material needs of the home. So that "the children don't lack anything," he works double shifts and even on weekends. The father cannot satisfy his present needs, when others have already been created for him. He thus wears himself out feverishly, without giving himself a break to enjoy what is important: the unique experience of watching his children grow up.

Parents who have managed to overcome the atavistic traditions of being mere providers share the joy of raising children and speak of "a new dimension in family life."

Despite the angry reproaches of those who seek to perpetuate the age-old taboo that when the father becomes emotionally involved with the child he becomes 'soft as a second mother', and that if he participates in the care and attention of the child he becomes simple, every day there are more parents present in the operating room at the time of the birth of their children, in the prenatal and postpartum courses to be trained in baby care.

It takes two to beget a child. Two are also needed for its development. The feminine intuition allows the mother to establish a vital communication with the child from the very moment of her birth. She interprets the signs of fear in the infant and gently reassures him and guides him gently.

The father's voice is extremely important: it gives security, trust in the future, establishes the limits of child behavior, and closes the circle of love that should surround the child. The father provides a unique and essential element in the child's upbringing, and his influence is powerful on emotional health. The mother tells him: "be careful", and the father tells him "one more", encouraging the little one to climb another rung to reach the top. Together, holding hands, father and mother guide the offspring on the path of life.

The father of today is open to the subtlest needs of the son: the emotional and the psychic. He transcends self-concern and his busyness, and gets to see the son on his own terms. He promotes the environment that allows him to develop his potential in a framework of responsible freedom, not domination.

He does not stop at the periphery, but knows the son up close. He guides him without aggressiveness, with motivated and reasoned firmness, along the path of the values ​​that he wishes to inherit. Today's father has given himself permission to see with eyes of love the offspring of his womb. He notices in the son, beyond the present limitations, the accumulation of possibilities that he is about to realize. And next to him enjoy every step of his development.

Conclusion

There are many good parents, there are few good parents. I don't think there is anything more difficult than being a good father. On the other hand, it is not difficult to be a good father. A soft heart is enough to be a good father; On the other hand, the strongest will and the clearest head are still not enough to be a good father.

A good father loves without thinking, the good father thinks to love. A good father says yes when he is yes, and no when he is no; the good father only knows how to say yes. The good father turns the child into a little god who ends up in a little demon. A good father does not make idols; he lives the presence of the only God.

A good father blows the fantasy of his son by letting him create an airplane with two old pieces of wood. A good father loves the will of his son, saving him efforts and responsibilities. A good father tempers the character of the son by leading him along the path of duty and work. And so, the good father reaches old age disappointed and belatedly repentant, while a good father grows in years respected, loved, and in the long run, understood.

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NSINGA., Robert

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