Friends are made
Being friends is a state of
human enrichment.
The life of friendship is
structured by words, silences and attitudes.
Charity does not exclude anyone, not even enemies. However, the
fact of loving those who are further away does not exclude loving those who are
closer with more intensity. A fundamental principle is that charity is ordered,
that is to say, that the love towards those closest to us is greater. Among
those who are closest are, after relatives, friends. Friendship is such an
important phenomenon that happiness cannot be found without a friend. Moreover,
among the deepest pains that can be found in life is the betrayal of a friend.
Aristotle affirms that friendship is "one of the most indispensable
requirements of life" Hence the need to learn to be friends.
What Is Friendship?
Friendship is the relationship between two or more people that
produces happiness, company, help. Friendship leads to overcoming loneliness,
because if there is an authentic friendship there is a communication of
intimacies. Between friends you can say things frankly, even unpleasant things,
that you would never hear from a sycophant or a stranger. In friendship there
is a mutual understanding that allows you to open your heart with confidence.
True friendship does not only attend to the advantages that one
finds, but also seeks to provide joy to friends. Leibnitz said that "to
love is to enjoy the happiness of the other"
Friendship, as selfless love, produces deep peace and,
furthermore, friends are enriched by the personality of others. The atmosphere
of trust that is created in friendship allows you to speak and be heard, fear
disappears even if there is mutual demand. Before friends it is possible to
give the best of oneself, which a stranger or an indifferent would not value.
Friendship is forged slowly. At first it emerges as a spontaneous
sympathy based on light and changing data: a greeting, a friendly conversation.
This first sympathy is very superficial and can change. The next step lies in
the will: the friend is chosen or loved. They will choose according to its own
virtues and its scale of values. Mutual acceptance will come later, and thus
begins the atmosphere of friendship. This friendly environment must be taken
care of so that it is not lost. Friendship is the greatest of riches.
Shakespeare said: "in my friends are my riches"
Friendship, Human Phenomenon
Friendship is a natural phenomenon typical of the social nature of
man, who finds in other similar a relationship of affinity, sympathy, which
leads him to join them by affection.
Gentiles and sinners loved only their friends. The study of
friendship in Antiquity can help us to know the difference and superiority of
Christian friendship.
Friendship In Classical Antiquity
a) Pythagoras.
Of the ancients, the one who dealt most with the theme of friendship was
Pythagoras. He even went so far as to found some fraternities or associations
in which friendship was sought to be lived in the most perfect way. These
communities disappeared perhaps because they became a separate group, separated
from the others, before whom they showed themselves with indifference and a
certain air of superiority.
b) Socrates.
Plato describes in his Dialogues Socrates' thinking about friendship: it is
based on love and regulated by virtue. Friendship arises from the need for
something that is not possessed and is needed. Later there will be a rapport
between friends.
c) Aristotle.
He masterfully deals with this theme in the Nicomachean Ethics. The core of his
thought is that friendship is an activity by which two or more associate to
achieve happiness. "It is necessary to share the existence of the friend,
something that is achieved by coexistence and by talking and penetrating each
other's thoughts" The union to which friendship tends leads to the
consideration of the other as another self. For Aristotle, friendship is marked
by the end to which it is directed. Similarity or rapport is not enough for
friendship to be good, it has to seek good ends, only then is it true and
grows. Bad friendship is rather complicity. Friendship, in Aristotle, is an
emulation in virtue. The optimal way to achieve happiness is friendship.
d) Cicero.
More than a treatise, he wrote an essay on friendship. As a thinker he says
that the friend is "another me" and "half of
our being" Friendship is only achieved when there is virtue:
sincerity, perseverance, etc. That is why it is necessary to exclude "the
greatest plague of friendship, which is flattery, flattery and servility
because, give it whatever name you want, it must be exposed as the vice of
light and false men who say everything to please and nothing to love of truth"
This same moralizing attitude continued during the Roman Empire,
albeit with some skepticism.
In The Old Testament
In the Old Testament, the same atmosphere in which the Greco-Latin
thinkers arrived is breathed, but with a strong religious component that
strengthens and elevates friendship. On the one hand, friendship requires
virtues: "a man who is kind in dealings will be more esteemed than his
brother" (Prov. 18, 24), and he will add: "the good advice of
a friend is sweetness to the soul" (Prov. 27, 9)
Wisdom books contain many sayings about friendship. The
Ecclesiastic distinguishes the true from the false friend; about the good
friend he says:
"A faithful friend is a powerful protector, whoever finds him
finds a treasure. Nothing is
worth as much as a faithful friend, its price is incalculable. A faithful
friend is a healthy remedy: those who fear the Lord will find it. Whoever fears
the Lord is faithful to friendship, and as faithful he is, so will his friend
be" (Eclo. 6, 14-17)
The fundamental reason for friendship places it above all in the
love of God above all other human considerations. That is why Leviticus will
say: "Love your friend as yourself" (Lev. 19, 18) Our Lord
Jesus Christ refers to this precept, showing that every man has the right to
be a friend, overcoming the distinctions of race, country, social level, and so
on.
Finally, friendship is not only something necessary, but something
beautiful. Indeed, we praise those who love their friends, and having many
friends is considered one of the best things, and we even identify in our
opinion good men and friends. (Aristotle, Nicomachean Ethics, lib, VIII.)
May this day 14TH February 2022, help us to be true
friends to each other.
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Robert., NSINGA
