THE IMPACT OF ECONOMY ON THE COUPLE

THE IMPACT OF ECONOMY ON THE COUPLE.

Who Pays Decide? Giving an example of pygmies, salt was the measure of value. In the case of some villages, the flocks of animals were the primary value. As a society we have evolved from barter to the economy that rules the world today. However, the central theme of this text is the impact of this economy on the couple.

Why is it controversial to talk about money in the couple? There are several answers to this: The reference to "personal interests" over those of the couple. Contradiction in the concept of a couple as the fusion of two people into one being. What is the couple:  for example, a union of two halves of oranges that form a perfect or the union of two individual oranges that try to get the best possible juice. Speaking of money is also talking about power. In couples there are always power struggles. Generally the man exerts the power through the money and the woman through the affection or sexuality. When the roles of the spouses become rigid enabling one to exercise more power at the expense of the other, the relationship becomes one of winning or losing. The relationship requires a new definition to balance power.

Some power games. These games occur under various circumstances. For example, when one of the spouses believes that they have real power over the other. Also common is the case of the one who doubts the abilities or the intentions of the spouse. In some polarized situations, the husband assumes that the role of the woman is worthless and says it openly generating depressions. Consider the following power games: Children: "You would not understand" Martyrs of money: In the ladies, it is given as a postponement of one's needs in favor of those of the family. In the case of husbands, "work for the family" is given. Neither of the two is sincere in its entirety. Unilateral decisions: How do you think about buying a new car? Rebels of money: "I'll pay when I feel like it" Benevolent manipulators: "Sweetheart, have I ever let you down?" Frighteners: "Remember that I can leave you on the street" From this, it can be deduced that the love relationship is necessary but it is not enough to maintain the marriage.

Influences of personal history. At an immediate level, we can consider the influences of adult life, which include the cultural, political, religious and advertising impact. We want to be different through having more and therefore pretending becomes important. A little deeper is the footprint left on us by the way our parents dealt with matters of money. Sometimes parents argue in an annoyed way and the children are left with the idea that there really is no money when the discussion is really about its use.

Sociocultural influences regarding the division of roles and money. Today, the division of roles between men and women is no longer as clear as it was a few years ago. In this new context, most men still feel that they are the providers of the house even if their ladies work. Although,  men have yielded the role of providers, they have not taken the role of educators forcing women to carry a double burden: provide and educate. Thus is born the "super woman" that we can see today exhausted, confusing her state with a depression. It is curious to note that in many cases the woman retains some features of the old role division by applying the saying "What is mine is mine and what is yours too".

Communication between man and woman: different interpretations. Communication is learned at an early age. Girls are advised to communicate verbally, sharing secrets, confidences. Children, on the other hand, relate by doing things together. Thus, women expect their husbands to express themselves in words as their best friend and they expect their actions to speak for themselves. This is how men express their anger through anger and women through tears. The man gives logical answers when the woman expects emotional responses. When a conversation develops, if the man jokes, the woman interprets that the problem does not interest him. If the man reinterprets, she believes that he does not trust his point of view. If the man advises, she feels that the man treats her with superiority. If the woman confides, he asks to get to the point as it is being overloaded with unnecessary information. If he expresses emotions, he thinks he is making a storm in a glass of water. If she confronts him, he feels scolded.

Finally, in this way it  would be good to identify precisely where they differ, discover the problems in their cultural, social and family heritages. Understand, converse and share where each one is in their spending can generate harmony, freedom and development.  

Robert Nsinga

Email, nsingarobert4@gmail.com